Two hundred vanity cards. I have now amassed a body of work that can safely be called "pointlessly unique." In the history of literary efforts, there has never been a literary effort quite like this one. Okay, literary might be pushing it, but I don't think I'm engaging in hyperbole when I say that it's highly unlikely my achievement will ever be duplicated, let alone surpassed. Why? Well, most show creators who are awarded the hallowed, second-and-a-half, end-of-episode "hey everybody, look at me!" card, have better things to do. Those that have no life (a goodly number), are simply not compelled to vomit up weekly offerings of painfully personal, petty, mock-metaphysical, self-congratulatory, rage-filled, and regretfully sarcastic essays that occasionally haunt them forever. Sure, non-showrunners can write a weekly essay of no particular value. But for it to be considered a true vanity card, it must be attached to the ass end of a television show. And let's keep in mind I've made a lot more shows than vanity cards. There were many weeks onDharma & Greg and Two and a Half Men when I was too wasted (mostly in the literary sense) to write something coherent. Anyway, I wanted to use this momentous card to celebrate my accomplishment because, well... no one else was jumping up to do it. Two hundred cards! Boy, oh boy, that is really something... Oh God, I'm so lonely.
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